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Thread: Found an old MAD magazine in my closet with Christmas carol parodies

  1. #1
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    Found an old MAD magazine in my closet with Christmas carol parodies

    This is from the December 1996 issue.

    If you're crusin
    For a bruisin
    Then you're in the right place
    When you visit the clubhouse in Cleveland
    There's a guy there
    Catch his eye there
    Soon he's right in your face
    And he ain't full of gladness and cheer

    Albert Belle
    Albert Belle
    Be nice and see where it gets you
    Once he's through
    Fronting you
    You'll know the meaning of fear

    Off his nut there
    Kicking butt there
    Like a psycho no less
    When he trashes reporters in Cleveland
    Then he's swearing
    Temper flaring
    Cause he's getting bad press
    And it might just affect his career

    Albert Belle
    Knows full well
    A ton of homers he's clouting
    Critics yell
    What the hell
    He'll make eight million next year


    ---


    OJ the tailback

    Knifed his way for yards galore
    He would cut and run
    Till the game was done
    Slashing records by the score

    OJ the actor
    Soon gave up his jock for good
    There were bucks to grab
    So he took a stab
    Making flicks in Hollywood

    Then late one night on Bundy
    He went on a bloody spree
    But Cochran played the race card and
    He would up going free

    OJ our hero
    Proudly says he broke no laws
    If you think that's true
    Then we bet that you
    Still believe in Santa Claus

    ----

    Smoke some crack with Michael Irvin, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
    From the law he's runnin, swervin, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
    Fancy moves have failed him never, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
    Oops! The Dallas cops just nailed him. fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

    See the case the DA's tryin, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
    Hear the bimbo testifyin, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
    In the courtroom Irvin's sweatin, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
    Twenty years he could be gettin, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

    See his lawyer cop a plea now, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
    Michael Irvin's going free now, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
    Pushers face incarceratio , fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
    All-pro Cowboys get probation, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

    -----

    Marge Schott the Cincy owner
    Suffered foot in mouth disease
    Spouting off Nazi lingo
    Puttin down minorities

    Blacks didn't take it kindly
    When the N word she would use
    Showing off her swastika
    Didn't sit too well with Jews

    All the other owners said
    "Marge has got to go!
    If that broad don't shut her yap
    Ticket sales will turn to crap!"

    Marge Schott the outcast owner
    Now knows where the guidelines are
    Maybe like Adolf Hitler
    She just went a bit too far!

    ---

    There's a duuuuude
    Take a look there
    Posing nuuuude
    For his book there
    It's Dennis you see
    He's bad as can be
    He's the biggest freak in all the land!

    Everywhere
    There's a tattoo
    Purple hair
    He's got that too
    He's pierced head to toe
    Above and below
    He's the biggest freak in all the land

    When Madonna said "Let's get together"
    Dennis said "Two rules you must obey
    First you wear a nightie made of leather
    And you let me wear your lingerie"

    Getting down
    Lookin kinky
    In his gown
    Silk and slinky
    His MTV gig
    Should go over big
    He's the biggest freak in all the land!

  2. #2
    Administrator Array title="fansince'76 has a reputation beyond repute"> fansince'76's Avatar

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    Re: Found an old MAD magazine in my closet with Christmas carol parodies

    Speaking of Mad magazine, I found a bare-bones site a few weeks back where somebody has stored every copy of Mad from the 1950s to 2005 in PDF format: http://landsurvival.com/mad/

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