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Thread: Ad for Tomlin Boost

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array title="st33lersguy has a reputation beyond repute">

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    Ad for Tomlin Boost

    Are you an NFL player or coach that is struggling. Is your career going nowhere? Are you on a team that is sucking ass. Then call up Tomlin boost, a great way to provide a spark for your stagnating career and your team's troubling season. How it works is when you have the Pittsburgh Steelers on your schedule, simply dial up Tomlin boost and he and his team will give you a boost by playing down to your level, letting you have a great game and letting your team win even as they are capable of shutting you down, don't take my word for it look at some of these testimonials

    Mike Priefer: I was a special teams coordinator with one game of prior head coaching experience asked to fill in for a playoff game with a team that didn't practice and an awful secondary. Luckily I called Tomlin boost

    Travis Fulgham: I was a nobody who couldn't even make it on the Lions practice squad, then I had an opportunity to call up Tomlin Boost, I had a big game and got noticed thanks to him and his overrated secondary

    Tomlin boost uses a variety of techniques to give you and your team a boost on the playing field such as terrible offensive playcalling, outdated and poorly designed defensive schemes, players who should have been benched and cut already, and the patented formula of coming out of a game totally unprepared to do anything related to decent football

    Mike Glennon: I called up Tomlin Boost twice and got my only two wins as a starter after my rookie year.

    Blake Bortles: If it weren't for the powers of Tomlin boost looking ahead to the Patriots, I probably wouldn't have gotten an extension

    Yes, Tomlin Boost has worked wonders for all sorts of struggling players and teams. You can read about all the testimonials in our booklet and online

    You can read about how it made Garrett Gilbert look like a starting caliber QB

    Read about how Dennis Allen got 2 of his 8 career wins as head coach

    Read about how Ryan Mallett got a win 12 days after signing with his new team against a Steelers team fighting for a playoff spot and many many more

    But wait there's more, call 15 minutes after the end of previous game and we'll throw in a Juju Doll, the new Doll that gives you extra motivation to succeed by dancing on your team's logo and talking trash about how bad are you. The best part is, it's free that's right, FREE. If your career is struggling, don't pass this opportunity, call Tomlin Booster

    Note: Tomlin Booster doesn't guard against high end talented players bailing out the rest of the team or you and your team making boneheaded mistakes.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Array title="DesertSteel has a reputation beyond repute"> DesertSteel's Avatar

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    Re: Ad for Tomlin Boost

    This is pretty funny! Are you the author?

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array title="st33lersguy has a reputation beyond repute">

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    Re: Ad for Tomlin Boost

    Quote Originally Posted by DesertSteel View Post
    This is pretty funny! Are you the author?
    Yes

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array title="DesertSteel has a reputation beyond repute"> DesertSteel's Avatar

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    Re: Ad for Tomlin Boost

    Quote Originally Posted by st33lersguy View Post
    Yes
    Good stuff. What's the toll-free number for the Tomlin Boost product? I could use some in my personal life.

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