Penis Surgery

[venom]

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to

foot.


The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've

regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but

you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to

be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was

severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."


The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have

$9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the

technology to build a new penis.


They work great but they don't come cheap. It's

roughly $1000 an inch." The man perks up. "So," the doctor

says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I

understand that you have been married for over thirty years

and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If

you had a five inches before and get a nine incher now she

might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and

you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be

disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in

helping you make a decision."


The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.


The doctor comes back the next day,


"So, have you spoken with your wife?"


"Yes I have," says the man.


"And has she helped you make a decision?"


"Yes" says the man.


"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.


"We're getting granite countertops."

[Texasteel]

If she didn't get her new countertop he wouldn't need it anyway.