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Thread: A few short ones

  1. #1
    Member Array title="whodat1 is an unknown quantity at this point"> whodat1's Avatar

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    A few short ones

    A woman is at the funeral of her late husband. She is crying and several of her friends come over to try and console her. They talk about what a good man he was and how he really enjoyed hunting and shooting. The wife agrees with them and tells them his last words were about guns. Asked what his last words were his wife replies "Watch out honey, that might be loaded!!"

    Two guys were out hiking. One guy was proudly wearing a .22 pistol on his hip. The other guy asked him what it was for. The guy replies, "In case we run across a grizzly bear!". The first guy says, "You can't stop a grizzly bear with a .22!" The second guy replies, "I don't need to stop the grizzly bear, I just need to slow you down..."


    This evening, a doctor on TV said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So... I looked around my house to find things I started & hadn't finished.
    Then I finished a bottle of vodka, a bottle of Gin, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pck of Prungles, 1/2 chesescke an a boc a choclez.. Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus I feeel now. Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr pisss!


    and finally;

    Superbowl Seats--

    A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl.

    As he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty.

    He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was sitting there.

    "No," the man replied, "The seat is empty."

    "This is incredible," said the first man.

    "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world and not use it?"

    The second man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.

    This will be the first Super bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."

    "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

    The man shook his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."

  2. #2
    SteelerSal
    Guest

    Re: A few short ones

    Really liked this one..

    This evening, a doctor on TV said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So... I looked around my house to find things I started & hadn't finished.
    Then I finished a bottle of vodka, a bottle of Gin, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pck of Prungles, 1/2 chesescke an a boc a choclez.. Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus I feeel now. Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr pisss!
    They were all really funny..thanks for the laugh during my stress filled work day.

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