What REALLY goes on in the Steelers huddle...

[salamander]

How the hell could I forget about this thread?! I missed some good stuff!

[Merchant]

Okay men. It’s a new season. A new beginning. We’re playing IN Denver again for the 10th straight time for some reason. And finally Wallace is ready to join us.



Actually, coach. I’ve decided to holdout.



But you ended your holdout..



This is a holdout – of the holdout. Check it. I want a 7-year $200 Million contract, or else you ain't seeing this sweet thang on the field Sundays.



Mike just sign the goddamn papers before I eat you.



Focus men. I’m running the show now. Now where’s Brown? We need to run some plays.



LOL. Look at me guys. I’m floating.



Goddamit. Is there anyone taking this season seriously?



Don’t worry coach. I’ll be there after a few more brews.



You know coach if Ben’s not ready to go I did play a little Quarterback in High School.



I guess we have no choice. Okay guys, Troy will be the new QB. Hampton you’re in at Running Back since Mendenhall’s injured and Batch is too busy writing philosophical blogs. And Rainey you’ll be at Right Guard until DeCastro heals up.



Say what now?

[stillers4me]

I love this thread!!

[stillers4me]

BUMP IT UP!

[siss]

We want more, we want more!

[bayz101]

[crcsnail]

[Polamalu Princess]

This is a hoot! Love it.

[Merchant]

Hey Ben..



Ya, ref?



What’s that thing called again. When one of the players on Offense moves before the ball is snapped?



…You mean a False-Start?



Gahh.. Had it on the tip of my tongue. And I roll my fists for the signal, right? Anyways, you guys should have an easy one this week with the Raiders. Can you make it a blowout? I have you on my Fantasy roster.



I don’t know.. I’ll have to run it by Coach T.



Absolutely out of the question. We’re on the road. Against a significantly inferior opponent. You know the drill.. We keep it close, make it interesting for the fans, then meet up with Jeff Reed at the bar.



Come on coach. I can’t take these nail-biters all the time.



Shut your mouth before I get Rooney to trade you to the Raiders. You're on thin-ice after that little "hold-out" of yours.



That’d be nice. I got no-one to throw to this Sunday.



Don’t worry, Carson. I’ll be catching plenty of your throws

[crcsnail]

this thread is awesome . love it

[siss]

We need another one of these!

[Merchant]

Oh wow. Been away for a while and thought I'd visit the forums. Surprised that this thread is still stickied!

Maybe I'll make another one tomorrow. See if I still got it...

[bayz101]

Oh wow. Been away for a while and thought I'd visit the forums. Surprised that this thread is still stickied!

Maybe I'll make another one tomorrow. See if I still got it...

Oh my God, please...do!

[stillers4me]

[Merchant]

Okay Ben… You’ve thrown 6 TDs in back-to-back games against respectable opponents and this week we have the one-win Jets. You know what that means.



What’s that, coach?



It means you need to SUCK, but still be good enough to squeak out a win on the road. You see, if we’re TOO good consistently then solid teams will start preparing for us harder and we won’t be able to catch them off-guard. It’s a little something Haley and I learned in Coaching School



I don’t know coach. Isn’t it better to just put in a strong performance week in and week out to re-establish ourselves as a perennial powerhouse and stop giving our fans heart-attacks…?



No, no. Let’s keep screwing with everybody. It’ll be funny.
Plus if we commit 100% effort every week then our older veterans will run out of energy by season’s end. Harrison barely has enough strength to knit me a scarf after Baltimore.



Coach I really don’t know how to knit. Shouldn’t I be lifting weights or watching film or something?



Are you crazy? It’s going to be chilly in New York; if I don’t have that scarf I’ll catch a cold.



Hey Mike, I think I’ve learned my lesson in the doghouse. Can I get back out there?



What part of “it’s going to be chilly in New York” didn’t you understand? That means the benches have to be warm and that’s where you come in. Don’t let me down son.



What about me coach?



Brad, solid throw on that 2-point conversion. In addition to punting duties, you will now also be our backup QB so we can save room on our salary cap by cutting Gradkowski.



I’m standing right here Mike.



Quiet, baldie. Now where’s Brown? I’ve been meaning to ask him why he has such a great stiff arm for a guy his size and why the janitor found a stack of pornography in his locker.



...



OH. EW. Gross…

[fansince'76]

[stillers4me]

OMG>>>>>>>>I love these!

[Steeldude]

Is it just me or does Wing look 13 years old?

[Merchant]

Good to be back! Haha

[salamander]

Hahaha!

[GBMelBlount]

That was awesome!

[Polamalu Princess]

[bayz101]

[Lady Steel]

Now where’s Brown? I’ve been meaning to ask him why he has such a great stiff arm for a guy his size and why the janitor found a stack of pornography in his locker.

LMAO! I about peed myself! Great job!

[Merchant]

Hey Mike, you wanted to see me..?



Haley, have a seat. We're riding hot with the league’s #1 Offense right now and I wanted to commend you on a job well done thus far. Be that as it may, we're facing the team that fired you. I wanted to make sure that emotions do not get in the way of the play-calling Sunday.



Emotions? What emotions? I’m fine. Not bitter at all that they replaced me with that Walrus-looking goof.



Hey! I heard that.



Quiet, you.
As a matter of fact, I have a few tricks up my sleeve for this game...



Tricks, eh? Go on, I'm listening.



Well the way I see it, the Chiefs will be expecting Bell… they’ll be expecting Brown… so now is the perfect time to start… ARCHER and DHB! They’ll never see it coming.



Let me get this straight. You want to replace the hottest back in the league and the NFL’s leading receiver with… two guys who haven’t made a contribution all season?



Precisely. What do you think?



I think that… is… THE MOST GENIUS THING I’VE EVER HEARD YOU SAY. EVER.
Ben, are you comfortable with this decision?



Huh? Are you guys insane? That makes about as much sense as starting Gradkowski over me because they won’t expect it. I mean, you guys would never do something that stupid, right?



…..



…..



And in a bizarre and unexpected twist, backup QB and journeyman Bruce Gradkowski will start for the Steelers this Sunday over Ben Roethlisberger, who has been inexplicably benched, against a desperate Chiefs squad with the playoffs on the line.



I'm getting too old for this shit...

[stillers4me]

You and me both, Troy!

Thanks, Merchant!

[stillers4me]

Bump it!

[Merchant]

Men, if we secure this win against the Bengals we will be the AFC North champions. We need to prepare for this as if our lives depended on it. Hence, our practice will be a little different today…



Different how? And why are there all these big empty steel cages outside?



I’m glad you asked. The way I see it, to defeat the Bengals, we must take on a Bengal. Behold...






COACH. That’s a frickin’ TIGER. Are you insane!?



Oh what’s the matter? Haven’t you ever fought a 400-pound jungle cat to the death to mentally prepare for a Football match before?



I’m pretty sure this is against NFL player safety protocol…



OK, OK. What about if you each just punch one of these Bengal kittens?





NO ONE IS PUNCHING A KITTEN.



Okay but for the record, if we lose, I’m going to blame it on you refusing to participate in my practice drills. Bunch of amateurs…

[stillers4me]

Here kitty, kitty, kitty...........

[thesteelerdealer]

They make fun of Johnny Football ?