Originally Posted by
steelreserve
You could probably videotape yourself masturbating in front of the head coach screaming "I'M GONNA KEEP DOING THIS UNTIL YOU RELEASE ME SO I CAN SIGN WITH THE PATRIOTS, I ALREADY TALKED WITH BELICHICK AND THEY OFFERED ME A 2-YEAR, $10 MILLION CONTRACT," and then post the video on Twitter with the caption "headin 2 foxboro, yea its illegal but no one gives a shit bout no tampering lol," and then the next day sign a 2-year, $10 million contract with New England only to have it rejected because whoops, the release hasn't actually gone through yet, then tweet "my bad, coach you gonna release me or what," then get released and sign the exact same 2-year, $10 million contract, and everyone around the league would go "well golly gee, that sure is a coincidence again, I'm sure the Patriots would never be up to anything unseemly." The state of things in the NFL.