Found an old MAD magazine in my closet with Christmas carol parodies

[Godfather]

This is from the December 1996 issue.

If you're crusin
For a bruisin
Then you're in the right place
When you visit the clubhouse in Cleveland
There's a guy there
Catch his eye there
Soon he's right in your face
And he ain't full of gladness and cheer

Albert Belle
Albert Belle
Be nice and see where it gets you
Once he's through
Fronting you
You'll know the meaning of fear

Off his nut there
Kicking butt there
Like a psycho no less
When he trashes reporters in Cleveland
Then he's swearing
Temper flaring
Cause he's getting bad press
And it might just affect his career

Albert Belle
Knows full well
A ton of homers he's clouting
Critics yell
What the hell
He'll make eight million next year


---


OJ the tailback

Knifed his way for yards galore
He would cut and run
Till the game was done
Slashing records by the score

OJ the actor
Soon gave up his jock for good
There were bucks to grab
So he took a stab
Making flicks in Hollywood

Then late one night on Bundy
He went on a bloody spree
But Cochran played the race card and
He would up going free

OJ our hero
Proudly says he broke no laws
If you think that's true
Then we bet that you
Still believe in Santa Claus

----

Smoke some crack with Michael Irvin, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
From the law he's runnin, swervin, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
Fancy moves have failed him never, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
Oops! The Dallas cops just nailed him. fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

See the case the DA's tryin, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
Hear the bimbo testifyin, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
In the courtroom Irvin's sweatin, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
Twenty years he could be gettin, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

See his lawyer cop a plea now, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
Michael Irvin's going free now, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
Pushers face incarceratio , fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
All-pro Cowboys get probation, fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

-----

Marge Schott the Cincy owner
Suffered foot in mouth disease
Spouting off Nazi lingo
Puttin down minorities

Blacks didn't take it kindly
When the N word she would use
Showing off her swastika
Didn't sit too well with Jews

All the other owners said
"Marge has got to go!
If that broad don't shut her yap
Ticket sales will turn to crap!"

Marge Schott the outcast owner
Now knows where the guidelines are
Maybe like Adolf Hitler
She just went a bit too far!

---

There's a duuuuude
Take a look there
Posing nuuuude
For his book there
It's Dennis you see
He's bad as can be
He's the biggest freak in all the land!

Everywhere
There's a tattoo
Purple hair
He's got that too
He's pierced head to toe
Above and below
He's the biggest freak in all the land

When Madonna said "Let's get together"
Dennis said "Two rules you must obey
First you wear a nightie made of leather
And you let me wear your lingerie"

Getting down
Lookin kinky
In his gown
Silk and slinky
His MTV gig
Should go over big
He's the biggest freak in all the land!

[fansince'76]

Speaking of Mad magazine, I found a bare-bones site a few weeks back where somebody has stored every copy of Mad from the 1950s to 2005 in PDF format: http://landsurvival.com/mad/