The Official Bash/Make Fun of Democrats/Obama Thread!

[zulater]

[Mach1]

[SCSTILLER]

Oh so true my friend. The American public doesn't elect the candidate anymore, the media does.

[silver & black]

That right there is golden!

[Mach1]

[fansince'76]

[Mach1]

[Mach1]

[stillers4me]

[vader29]

Barack Obama discovers a leak under his sink, so he calls Joe the Plumber to come and fix it.

Joe drives to Obama’s house, which is located in a very nice neighborhood and where it’s clear that all the residents make more than $250,000 per year. Joe arrives and takes his tools into the house. Joe is led to the room that contains the leaky pipe under a sink. Joe assesses the problem and tells Obama, who is standing near the door, that it’s an easy repair that will take less than 10 minutes. Obama asks Joe how much it will cost. Joe immediately says, “$9,500.” “$9,500?” Obama asks, stunned, “But you said it’s an easy repair!”

“Yes, but what I do is charge a lot more to my clients who make more than $250,000 per year so I can fix the plumbing of everybody who makes less than that for free,” explains Joe. “It’s always been my philosophy. As a matter of fact, I lobbied government to pass this philosophy as law, and it did pass earlier this year, so now all plumbers have to do business this way. It’s known as ‘Joe’s Fair Plumbing Act of 2009.’ Surprised you haven’t heard of it.” In spite of that, Obama tells Joe there’s no way he’s paying that much for a small plumbing repair, so Joe leaves. Obama spends the next hour flipping through the phone book looking for another plumber, but he finds that all other plumbing businesses listed have gone out of business. Not wanting to pay Joe’s price, Obama does nothing. The leak under Obama’s sink goes unrepaired for the next several days.

A week later, the leak is so bad that Obama has had to put a bucket under the sink. The bucket fills up quickly and has to be emptied every hour, and there’s a risk that the room will flood, so Obama calls Joe and pleads with him to return. Joe goes back to Obama’s house, looks at the leaky pipe, and says, “Let’s see – this will cost you about $21,000.” “A few days ago you told me it would cost $9,500!” Obama quickly fires back.

Joe explains the reason for the dramatic increase. “Well, because of the ‘Joe’s Fair Plumbing Act,’ a lot of rich people are learning how to fix their own plumbing, so there are fewer of you paying for all the free plumbing I’m doing for the people who make less than $250,000. As a result, the rate I have to charge my wealthy paying customers rises every day. “Not only that, but for some reason the demand for plumbing work from the group of people who get it for free has skyrocketed, and there’s a long waiting list of those who need repairs. This has put a lot of my fellow plumbers out of business, and they’re not being replaced – nobody is going into the plumbing business because they know they won’t make any money. I’m hurting now too – all thanks to greedy rich people like you who won’t pay their fair share.”

Obama tries to straighten out the plumber: “Of course you’re hurting, Joe! Don’t you get it? If all the rich people learn how to fix their own plumbing and you refuse to charge the poorer people for your services, you’ll be broke, and then what will you do?”

Joe immediately replies, “Run for president, apparently.”

[fansince'76]

[Mach1]

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[silver & black]

Subject: Just ask the Queen...........



























"Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"















"Well," said the Queen, "The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."





Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know if the people around me are really intelligent?"




The Queen took a sip of champagne.





"Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle, watch"




The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"





Tony Blair walked into the room and said, "Yes, your Majesty?"





The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"





Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me."





"Yes! Very good." said the Queen.





Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden the same question. "Joe, answer this for me."




"Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?" "I'm not sure," said Biden.





"Let me get back to you on that one." He went to his advisers and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.




Frustrated, Biden went to work out in congressional gym and saw Paul Ryan there.





Biden went up to him and asked, "Hey Paul, see if you can answer this question." "Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"





Paul Ryan answered, "That's easy, it's me!"





Biden smiled, and said, "Good answer Paul!" Biden then, went back to speak with President Obama. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle."





"It's Paul Ryan!"




Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face,





"NO, You idiot! It's Tony Blair!"





...AND THAT MY FRIENDS IS PRECISELY WHAT'S GOING ON AT THE WHITE HOUSE.

[vader29]

[Mach1]

[vader29]

[vader29]

[Mach1]

[zulater]

A couple personal observations. Sorry if you find no humor in them, but at least I think you'll appreciate the irony.

First. Hamas defenders attack "The Zionist Israeli's" As if the thought that only a secular state can ever be defended. You do realize that Hamas in particular and Palestinians by and large seek a Muslim Caliphate? With which comes hand in glove Sharia law. Ask any minority member of a country or region that practices Sharia law how that's going for them.

Next if you're arguing with a liberal; outside of the inevitable dropping of the race/ and- or sex card if the argument isn't going their way their favorite slam on you is to call you a "Tea bagger". I'm sure they fully realize that tea bagging is a fairly exclusive act practiced by homosexual men. So our politically correct liberal friends are essentially calling you a faggot, because A) the play on words is just too rich to pass up, and B) to compare you to a gay man is the ultimate slam in the liberal's convulsed-hypocritical mind.

[fansince'76]

A couple personal observations. Sorry if you find no humor in them, but at least I think you'll appreciate the irony.

First. Hamas defenders attack "The Zionist Israeli's" As if the thought that only a secular state can ever be defended. You do realize that Hamas in particular and Palestinians by and large seek a Muslim Caliphate? With which comes hand in glove Sharia law. Ask any minority member of a country or region that practices Sharia law how that's going for them.

I have zero sympathy or support for the Palestinians on this issue for one simple reason - they are dedicated to the destruction of Israel, they have absolutely no interest in a peaceful two-state solution and have said as much repeatedly. So why the fuck should Israel capitulate and why are they always labeled the "bad guys" when they don't?

Next if you're arguing with a liberal; outside of the inevitable dropping of the race/ and- or sex card if the argument isn't going their way their favorite slam on you is to call you a "Tea bagger". I'm sure they fully realize that tea bagging is a fairly exclusive act practiced by homosexual men. So our politically correct liberal friends are essentially calling you a faggot, because A) the play on words is just too rich to pass up, and B) to compare you to a gay man is the ultimate slam in the liberal's convulsed-hypocritical mind.

Didn't you get the memo, Zu? It's only homophobia/racism/sexism when a conservative says it.

What I find particularly ironic is how liberals are constantly accusing conservatives of racism when THEY are the ones who inject race into EVERY issue and play the race card at EVERY opportunity.

[vader29]

[vader29]

[SCSTILLER]

Oh so true!

[CapLovesTroyP43]

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[CapLovesTroyP43]

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Is that what I think it is under Moochele's dress????????

[Count Steeler]

Is that what I think it is under Moochele's dress????????

I guess she doesn't have a mirror?

[Mach1]

[vader29]

[Mach1]

[fansince'76]

I can stack bullshit this high!