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Thread: Why Parents Drink

  1. #1
    AKA xfl2001fan-GO BROWNS! Array title="GitNoLuv is on a distinguished road"> GitNoLuv's Avatar

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    Wink Why Parents Drink

    (LLT, your story reminded me of this classic joke)

    A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

    With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.


    Dear Dad,

    It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

    I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

    But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

    Stacy said that we will be very happy.

    She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

    Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
    We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

    In the meantime, we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

    Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

    Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.


    Love, John



    P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
    I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card that's in my center desk drawer.


    I love you.


    Call me when it's safe to come home.
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  2. #2
    Senior Member Array title="Nadroj 20 is just really nice"> Nadroj 20's Avatar

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    Re: Why Parents Drink

    "Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose"
    ~Rest In Peace HometownGal~

  3. #3

    Re: Why Parents Drink

    Dear Son,

    I read your note and was horrified at what I percieved as you throwing your life away. You can not imagine the relief I felt when I realized that you had not made the mistakes that you had fooled me into thinking you had.

    You have helped me put things into perspective...making me realize that there are more important things in this world than an occassional bad grade. Thank you for this unique method of helping me see things in light of how bad things really could be.

    Dont worry about the grade. I know that you will do better next semester and it will equal out in the end.

    Love, Dad

    P.S. None of the above is true...I think you would have been better served in spending the last couple of hours in church, instead of going to Tommys....because when I see you, you had better have given your soul to the Lord...cause your ass is mine.
    "I believe the game is designed to reward the ones who hit the hardest. If you can't take it, you shouldn't play"

    -- Jack Lambert --

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array title="Nadroj 20 is just really nice"> Nadroj 20's Avatar

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    Re: Why Parents Drink

    Thats a nice comeback!! LOL
    "Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose"
    ~Rest In Peace HometownGal~

  5. #5
    AKA xfl2001fan-GO BROWNS! Array title="GitNoLuv is on a distinguished road"> GitNoLuv's Avatar

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    Re: Why Parents Drink

    HAHAHAHA

    Touche ma friend. Should my kids ever pull that stunt on me...I'll be sure to have that sent back at them. :P
    Official SteelUniverse Guru and BrainTrust Committee Chairman!!!

  6. #6
    Original Member Array title="steelerdude15 has a brilliant future"> steelerdude15's Avatar

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    Re: Why Parents Drink


  7. #7
    Senior Member Array title="TatarMongol is an unknown quantity at this point"> TatarMongol's Avatar

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    Re: Why Parents Drink

    Nice comeback. LOL.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Array title="siss is a jewel in the rough"> siss's Avatar

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    Re: Why Parents Drink

    *looks at my precious baby sleeping*
    He won't do that to me ever!

  9. #9
    AKA xfl2001fan-GO BROWNS! Array title="GitNoLuv is on a distinguished road"> GitNoLuv's Avatar

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    Re: Why Parents Drink

    Quote Originally Posted by siss View Post
    *looks at my precious baby sleeping*
    He won't do that to me ever!
    Oh, you poor misguided soul. Best of luck to you on that one! :P
    Official SteelUniverse Guru and BrainTrust Committee Chairman!!!

  10. #10
    SteelerSal
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    Re: Why Parents Drink

    Funny story and great comeback. LOL

  11. #11
    Good Guys with Black Hats Array title="SteelMember has a reputation beyond repute"> SteelMember's Avatar

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    Re: Why Parents Drink

    Quote Originally Posted by LLT View Post
    Dear Son,

    I read your note and was horrified at what I percieved as you throwing your life away. You can not imagine the relief I felt when I realized that you had not made the mistakes that you had fooled me into thinking you had.

    You have helped me put things into perspective...making me realize that there are more important things in this world than an occassional bad grade. Thank you for this unique method of helping me see things in light of how bad things really could be.

    Dont worry about the grade. I know that you will do better next semester and it will equal out in the end.

    Love, Dad

    P.S. None of the above is true...I think you would have been better served in spending the last couple of hours in church, instead of going to Tommys....because when I see you, you had better have given your soul to the Lord...cause your ass is mine.



    Leave it to the master.... although that last part seems vaguely familiar. I think I still have the marks to prove it. Dad did like to put his name on everything.

  12. #12
    U.S. AIR FORCE Array title="Hindes204 has much to be proud of"> Hindes204's Avatar

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    Re: Why Parents Drink

    Nice, I just spit coffe on my computer at work, good comeback LLT




  13. #13
    The Virginia Hillbilly Array title="Galax Steeler is a splendid one to behold"> Galax Steeler's Avatar

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    Re: Why Parents Drink

    That is funny LOL

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    Just happy to be here!! Array title="Polamalu Princess has a reputation beyond repute"> Polamalu Princess's Avatar

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    Re: Why Parents Drink

    That was too funny.

    Angel Baby Faith our one and only 1/11/00 - 9/9/16 We love you.

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    Senior Member Array title="stillers4me has a reputation beyond repute"> stillers4me's Avatar

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    Re: Why Parents Drink




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