It took Mike Tomlin the entirety of 264 words to get through what he called the Steelers' “laundry list of injuries” a couple days ago. And he did so as casually as ever, in that classic NFL injury parlance that cites nothing more than the existence of a given anatomical part.

You know …

“Kelvin Beachum has some right ribs,” the coach began.

Good thing, too. Can really help a man breathe.

“Brett Keisel has left ribs.”

Stands to reason, given Beachum having some on the other side.

“LaMarr Woodley has a right knee.”

Bet there's a match for that, too.

“Lawrence Timmons broke his left hand. That's been casted. He's ready to go.”

Wait, what? ........


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