Lets see if you like some our our humour downunder
A family was driving behind a rubbish truck when a large dildo flies out and hits the windscreen.
To hide her embarrassment the mother turns and says to her young kids "my what a big insect".
To which her 7 year old says, "I'm surprised it could fly with a dick that size".
"NUMBER 7 FOR OUR BELOVED ONE IN HEAVEN"
Array title="Kaeg is an unknown quantity at this point">
Haha! I liked that one!
Haha thats good
That's funny in any country!
lol thats a good one
Array title="Galax Steeler is a splendid one to behold">
Good one Aussie.
Array title="Devilsdancefloor has a reputation beyond repute">
lmao that is really funny!
For those i love i will sacrifice.
Si ventus non est, remiga
Joke #2
The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out.
He couldn't concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone else left the church.
When they were alone, the reverend said in his sternest lecturing voice.
"Just what do you mean, coming to church dressed like that?"
"Why reverend." the young thing replied.
All of my boyfriends tell me that they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my breasts."
"Hmm. Well let me check," said the man of the cloth, placing his head between her tits.
After several minutes, he raised his head and said. "I don't hear any angels singing!"
"Of course not reverend." she said. Your not plugged in yet."
"NUMBER 7 FOR OUR BELOVED ONE IN HEAVEN"
Array title="stillers4me has a reputation beyond repute">
A family was driving behind a rubbish truck when a large dildo flies out and hits the windscreen.
To hide her embarrassment the mother turns and says to her young kids "my what a big insect".
To which her 7 year old says, "I'm surprised it could fly with a dick that size".
Another good one Aussie. Keep them coming.
Joke #3
The newly weds were terribly shy when it came to sex, so instead
of simply saying, "Let's fuck," they'd say, "Washing machine."
One night the dude puts his arms around his wife and asked,
"Washing Machine?"
"Not tonight honey," she replied. "I'm tired.
He rolled away from her, but in a couple of minutes he began
stroking he thighs and once again ventured. "Washing machine?"
"Darling, I'm really tired." she said. "Beside the point I have a
Headache."
Sighing deeply, the guy moved back to his own side of the bed
and was silent. His wife began thinking about the conjugal
obligation to keep him happy, and soon she turned to him and
whispered. "Washing Machine."
"That's okay." he replied with a yawn. "It was a small load,
so I did it by hand."
"NUMBER 7 FOR OUR BELOVED ONE IN HEAVEN"
lol... keep 'em rolling in!
Joke #4
A yuppie walked into a doctor's surgery and demanded the
quack have a look at his dick.
"Why, what's wrong with it?" the doc asked.
"I'll show you", the yuppie yelled, and dropped his trousers.
His dick was the size of a jellybean, and the doctor couldn't
help himself. He burst out laughing.
"It's nothing to laugh at," complained the yuppie, close to tears.
"It's been swollen like that for the last three days!"
"NUMBER 7 FOR OUR BELOVED ONE IN HEAVEN"
All good Aussie, but I gotta say the first one really made me lol.
Joke # 5
Three vampires walk into a bar. One orders a blood on the rocks.
Another orders a double blood. The third simply asks for a mug of hot water.
"Why didn't you order blood like everyone else?" asks the bartender.
The vampire pulls out a tampon and says, "I'm making tea!"
"NUMBER 7 FOR OUR BELOVED ONE IN HEAVEN"
Array title="BuddhaBus is just really nice">
+1. #5 is funny as hell too!Originally Posted by SteelMember
All good Aussie, but I gotta say the first one really made me lol.
Damn Aussie these are great
Joke #6
Six mates were seated at the bar, each trying to impress one another with the size
of their dicks. The bragging went on for almost an hour, and the bartender got tired
of hearing that shit, so he said, "Let's put an end to all this crap and find out who's lying
and who isn't. Each of you whip out your dong and lay it on the bar." All six of then did.
Just at that moment a faggot walked into the bar, and the bartender asked him if he
wanted a drink.
The queer looked down the bar, and in a lisping voice, he said, "No thanks, I'll just have
some of the buffet."
"NUMBER 7 FOR OUR BELOVED ONE IN HEAVEN"
Array title="Galax Steeler is a splendid one to behold">
Aussie those are some good ones no.6 is funny.
Array title="solardave is an unknown quantity at this point">
I don't know if you know who Larry the Cable Guy is but he says "I don't give a damn who you are that's funny!"
Array title="venom has a reputation beyond repute">
Loved the first one
Joke #7
Mum walked into the bathroom one day and found
young Johnny furiously scrubbing his dick with a
toothbrush and toothpaste.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, young
man?!" she exclaimed.
"Don't try to stop me!" Johnny warned. "I'm gonna
do this three times a day, because there's no way I'm
gonna get a cavity that looks and smells as bad as my
sister's."
"NUMBER 7 FOR OUR BELOVED ONE IN HEAVEN"
Joke #7 was pretty good.
You guys and gals keep appreciating and I will keep posting
Joke #8
Three kids were smoking behind the shed.
"My dad can blow smoke through his nose!"
boasted the first.
"Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!"
counted the second boy.
"That's nothing," piped up the third. "My dad
can blow smoke through his arse. I know, 'cos I've
seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
"NUMBER 7 FOR OUR BELOVED ONE IN HEAVEN"
Joke 8 is great!!
Joke #9
Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods
one day, on her way to Grandma's house, when all of a
sudden the Big Bad Wolf leapt out from behind a tree.
To make matters worse, The Big Bad Wolf had a six - inch
blade in his hand and a nine inch bulge in his pants. "Get
those scarlet bloomers off, Little Red Riding Hood," the wolf
snarled. "I'm going to fuck you!"
But before he could bat an eyelid, Little Red had drawn a
.44 magnum out of her basket, and pointed it at the Wolfs
balls. "Sorry to disappoint you, Wolf," she said, "but now
you're going to eat me, just like the story says."
"NUMBER 7 FOR OUR BELOVED ONE IN HEAVEN"
Lol these are all good
"Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose"~Rest In Peace HometownGal~
Joke#10
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's
drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some
olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then
he jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows
it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just swallowed the cue ball off my pool table whole!", says the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the bloke. "He eats everything in sight, the
little bugger. I'll pay for the cue ball and other stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his
bill and leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again and he has his monkey with him. He orders a
drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking
his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up
his arse, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender
is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks.
"Now what?", responds the bloke.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his arse, then pulled it out and ate it!", says
the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the bloke. "He still eats everything in sight,
but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"
"NUMBER 7 FOR OUR BELOVED ONE IN HEAVEN"
Array title="Galax Steeler is a splendid one to behold">
Good one LOL
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
