stillers4me
05-02-2011, 10:15 PM
diary 28 (860 miles to Forgiveness)
860 miles is the distance from Lubbock to New Orleans. The void that separates my relationship with my father is much further than that. It can’t be quantified in miles, feet, or inches. Perhaps it can be measured in lost time, anger, or tears? But, maybe it can’t be measured at all? Maybe what separates my father and I’s relationship is an object? Quite possibly an object of my own creation. A chasm eroded and shaped over the years by a river of my own un-forgiveness. A river that is destructively powerful and that flows down from the mountains of my past. I have summited the mountains, but the river still remains. I have yearned to cross this river for quite some time now, but the current has been too strong, powered by something that until recently I failed to acknowledge, powered by another object of my own creation. A Lie.
I have forgiven my father, wait no that’s not true at all. It’s a lie that I have been telling for quite some time. I need to remind myself what the truth is. I have to quit lying to myself.
Sometimes a lie can be dressed so properly that it can even deceive the tongue from which it was conceived. My father has missed just about every major accomplishment in my life. He only made it to 2 of my high school football games and never made it to any collegiate ones. He left my mother, my siblings, and I for another woman. He missed me grow as a man and has had little input, except for what not to be. I constantly told people that his lack of presence didn’t bother me and that was a lie..................
Read more @ http://burgh.us/4m5
(I hope this young man is as gifted on a football field as he is in his writings)
860 miles is the distance from Lubbock to New Orleans. The void that separates my relationship with my father is much further than that. It can’t be quantified in miles, feet, or inches. Perhaps it can be measured in lost time, anger, or tears? But, maybe it can’t be measured at all? Maybe what separates my father and I’s relationship is an object? Quite possibly an object of my own creation. A chasm eroded and shaped over the years by a river of my own un-forgiveness. A river that is destructively powerful and that flows down from the mountains of my past. I have summited the mountains, but the river still remains. I have yearned to cross this river for quite some time now, but the current has been too strong, powered by something that until recently I failed to acknowledge, powered by another object of my own creation. A Lie.
I have forgiven my father, wait no that’s not true at all. It’s a lie that I have been telling for quite some time. I need to remind myself what the truth is. I have to quit lying to myself.
Sometimes a lie can be dressed so properly that it can even deceive the tongue from which it was conceived. My father has missed just about every major accomplishment in my life. He only made it to 2 of my high school football games and never made it to any collegiate ones. He left my mother, my siblings, and I for another woman. He missed me grow as a man and has had little input, except for what not to be. I constantly told people that his lack of presence didn’t bother me and that was a lie..................
Read more @ http://burgh.us/4m5
(I hope this young man is as gifted on a football field as he is in his writings)