Former Futures Contract player says Ben Roethlisberger is a Jagoff

[Fire Goodell]

https://deadseriousness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/ben-roethlisberger-364x205.jpg

It seems things can only get worse for Ben Roethlisberger. Recently he's become under fire from former teammates for his lack of leadership, and generally being an unlikeable person. Another one has stepped up, Ballsack Flanigan, QB of the Southwestern Pirates, who was signed to a futures contract, before getting cut from the team 3 days later.

"He's a fucking Jagoff", said Flanigan, who just by the mere mention of the name Roethlisberger had him fuming. "You wouldn't believe it, I completed the best pass of my life, a 2 yard dump off to a wide-open Rashard Mendenhall. I jumped for joy, knowing my chances of making the 90 man roster would have been great, but Ben just laughs and told me 'Who do you think you are, Bubby Brister?'"

"I was so mad, I started overthrowing receivers by 20 yards, because he pissed me off so much."

3 days later, he was cut from the team. Trying to continue his life in a positive direction, he spent much of his time volunteering at children's hospitals and taking care of the homeless. Everything was going great, until he ran into an obviously drunk Roethlisberger outside of a Tequila Cowboy with longtime friend Bruce Arians. Flanigan tried to greet the two, and was quickly confronted by Roethlisberger.

"The guy was a total dickhead. I just tried to say hi, and congrats on winning the Super Bowl.", Flanigan said, as he shook his head. "Then Ben was like 'Yeah, I won, but you're a fucking loser', as he poured a beer on my head, and proceeded to bodyslam the homeless guy I was helping, then turned around and totally uppercut some kid the face. He then turned to his friend, and said 'Dude, I'm hungry, let's go club some baby seals and throw em on the grill' as he walked away. Man, what a jagoff, I hate him so much."

Flanigan refused to comment further, but was reported to later be outside the lobby crying to himself and screaming "I was part of the Steelers for 3 days! Why doesn't anyone believe me!"

[Shoes]

"Ben just laughs and told me 'Who do you think you are, Bubby Brister?'"

He (Colbert) looks at me, and he goes, ‘who do you think you are, Antonio Brown?’

Ben and Colbert think alike. :chuckle:

[86WARD]

Probably shouldn’t be posted in Steelers Talk...

[st33lersguy]

Who?

[Fire Goodell]

Probably shouldn’t be posted in Steelers Talk...

Yeah sorry, I just got annoyed with all these ex players taking shots at Ben that I decided to poke fun at it :chuckle:

[Method28]

Who?If you don't know who Ballsack Flanigan is then idk what else to tell ya. He's the bees knees man

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk

[GoSlash27]

Plus, he *totally* uppercut some kid in the face. Not cool. :toofunny:

[zulater]

I'll wager Cowherd and Shannon Sharpe will run with this Monday!:rofl2:

Cool thread! :yup:

[steelreserve]

If you don't know who Ballsack Flanigan is then idk what else to tell ya. He's the bees knees man

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His career was nothing compared to the great Ted Ballsacks, who terrorized quarterbacks in the AFL for 16 years, and then went on to start a successful restaurant chain, Ted Ballsacks' Famous Steakhouse.

[hawaiiansteeler]

His career was nothing compared to the great Ted Ballsacks, who terrorized quarterbacks in the AFL for 16 years, and then went on to start a successful restaurant chain, Ted Ballsacks' Famous Steakhouse.

the sign outside Ted's restaurant read:

"Don't hang around here, go inside."

[JimHarbaugh'ssoakedtissue]

His career was nothing compared to the great Ted Ballsacks, who terrorized quarterbacks in the AFL for 16 years, and then went on to start a successful restaurant chain, Ted Ballsacks' Famous Steakhouse. Yea right! I bet Hoss Cartwright started Ponderosa Steak restaurants too!

[GoSlash27]

Yea right! I bet Hoss Cartwright started Ponderosa Steak restaurants too!
Of course not, silly. Everybody knows that was Hop Sing :p

[JimHarbaugh'ssoakedtissue]

Of course not, silly. Everybody knows that was Hop Sing :p Lol good one but still think it's pretty cool Hoss did though!

[tube517]

:chuckle:

[teegre]

My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows a kid who works at 31 Flavors... who heard Ben ask the cashier, “Who do you think you are: Cold Stone!?!”

[GoSlash27]

My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows a kid who works at 31 Flavors... who heard Ben ask the cashier, “Who do you think you are: Cold Stone!?!”

Thank you, Simone. :nerd:

[teegre]

Thank you, Simone. :nerd:

Ballsack Ambulancechaser was... what?... what was he? ...anyone... he was... awful or a non-story? anyone... anyone... it starts with a “b”.... “bo”... “both”... that is correct he was both.

[86WARD]

I'll wager Cowherd and Shannon Sharpe will run with this Monday!:rofl2:

Cool thread! :yup:

No doubt Stephen A. Smith could run with it.

Lol

[JimHarbaugh'ssoakedtissue]

My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows a kid who works at 31 Flavors... who heard Ben ask the cashier, “Who do you think you are: Cold Stone!?!” You always seem to have a ton of best friends!

[GoSlash27]

You always seem to have a ton of best friends!

Well, he's very popular. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, d(*kheads... They all adore him. They think he's a 'righteous dude'.:nod:

[steelreserve]

the sign outside Ted's restaurant read:

"Don't hang around here, go inside."

He has two signs - one says "Get inside you fuckin' loser, we know more about steaks than you could ever know about anything," and the other says "Rated better than Ballsack Flanigan's by 100 out of 100 customers - that place is a dump!"

Then across the top of every page on the menu is printed: "You are barely worthy of eating at Ted Ballsacks - make up your mind and we might stoop so low as to serve you."

[hawaiiansteeler]

https://cbspittsburgh.files.wordpress.com/2019/02/big-chest.jpg?w=1024

[teegre]

Well, he's very popular. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, d(*kheads... They all adore him. They think he's a 'righteous dude'.:nod:

We did have a backup quarterback. That wasn’t bullish!t. He’s a former Jacksonville Jaguar. I mean, really, what’s the point? Ben is not a Jaguar... he doesn’t plan on being a Jaguar... so who gives a crap what a backup thinks? He could be a Cleveland Brown for all that I care; it still doesn’t change the fact that we don’t have an ILB.

[EzraTank]

Probably shouldn’t be posted in Steelers Talk...

Would agree during the season, but it's March and there's nothing else to talk about. :)

[steel striker]

Wake me up when the season actually starts!

[GoSlash27]

We did have a backup quarterback. That wasn’t bullish!t. He’s a former Jacksonville Jaguar. I mean, really, what’s the point? Ben is not a Jaguar... he doesn’t plan on being a Jaguar... so who gives a crap what a backup thinks? He could be a Cleveland Brown for all that I care; it still doesn’t change the fact that we don’t have an ILB.

Sorry, ya lost me... Was this comment intended for a different thread?

- - - Updated - - -

Oh, nevermind. I get it now :)

[hawaiiansteeler]

We did have a backup quarterback. That wasn’t bullish!t. He’s a former Jacksonville Jaguar. I mean, really, what’s the point? Ben is not a Jaguar... he doesn’t plan on being a Jaguar... so who gives a crap what a backup thinks? He could be a Cleveland Brown for all that I care; it still doesn’t change the fact that we don’t have an ILB.

if only Ben were a better leader like Peyton and watched more film...

[GoSlash27]

if only Ben were a better leader like Peyton and watched more film...

Defensive changes happen pretty fast. If you don't stop and look at game film once in a while, you could miss it...

[teegre]

Defensive changes happen pretty fast. If you don't stop and look at game film once in a while, you could miss it...

(Kevin Colbert laying awake in bed...)

AB will keep calling me... he’ll keep calling me until I trade him. AB’ll make me feel guilty. This is... argh... this is ridiculous!!! I’ll trade him, I’ll trade him, I’ll trade him... agh!!!... I’LL TRADE HIM!!! ... shit.

[GoSlash27]

(Kevin Colbert laying awake in bed...)

AB will keep calling me... he’ll keep calling me until I trade him. AB’ll make me feel guilty. This is... argh... this is ridiculous!!! I’ll trade him, I’ll trade him, I’ll trade him... agh!!!... I’LL TRADE HIM!!! ... shit.
Maybe we could make a deal for Abe Frohman. I hear he's the "sack king of Chicago".

[teegre]

Maybe we could make a deal for Abe Frohman. I hear he's the "sack king of Chicago".


(AB during an interview)

The key to faking out Kevin Colbert is the orange mustache. It’s a good non-specific symptom; I’m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good “driveway sit-up” session is a dead lock, but, uh… you get a nervous GM, you could wind up in a Buffalo. That’s worse than injured reserve.

[GoSlash27]

(AB during an interview)

The key to faking out Kevin Colbert is the orange mustache. It’s a good non-specific symptom; I’m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good “driveway sit-up” session is a dead lock, but, uh… you get a nervous GM, you could wind up in a Buffalo. That’s worse than injured reserve.
1) You can never go too far. 2) If I get busted, it won't be by a guy like that.

[teegre]

1) You can never go too far. 2) If I get busted, it won't be by a guy like that.

TWITTER: There’s someone we should talk about...

TEEGRE: If you say ‘AB’, you lose a testicle.

TWITTER: Oh, you know him...

[GoSlash27]

Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe AB isn't such a bad guy. After all, I got 6 Lombardis and he got traded to the Raiders. But still... Why should he get to do whatever he wants whenever he wants?? Why should everything work out for him? What makes *him* so goddamn special?

Screw him.

[hawaiiansteeler]

After all, I got 6 Lombardis

where do you keep them?

[Butch]

where do you keep them?
He lets the Steelers store them in a trophy case for now.

[GoSlash27]

where do you keep them?

It's kind of like a museum. It's very beautiful and very cold and you're not allowed to touch anything.

[pczach]

It's kind of like a museum. It's very beautiful and very cold and you're not allowed to touch anything.



It sounds exactly like my bedroom....... :chuckle:

[teegre]

Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe AB isn't such a bad guy. After all, I got 6 Lombardis and he got traded to the Raiders. But still... Why should he get to do whatever he wants whenever he wants?? Why should everything work out for him? What makes *him* so goddamn special?

Screw him.

This was the most amazing thing I’ve read...


It's kind of like a museum. It's very beautiful and very cold and you're not allowed to touch anything.

...until I read this. Wow!!! talk about the PERFECT response. :applaudit:

[teegre]

It's kind of like a museum. It's very beautiful and very cold and you're not allowed to touch anything.

TOMLIN: The 1974 Lombardi Trophy. Less than a hundred have been made. Kevin Colbert has spent years restoring this team. It is his love... it is his passion...

AB: ...it his fault that I was doing sit-ups in the garage.

[hawaiiansteeler]

It sounds exactly like my bedroom....... :chuckle:

:rofl2:

[GoSlash27]

TOMLIN: The 1974 Lombardi Trophy. Less than a hundred have been made. Kevin Colbert has spent years restoring this team. It is his love... it is his passion...

AB: ...it his fault that I was doing sit-ups in the garage.
The Lombardis... And I really must be honest here... I love having them. They are so choice! If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up :D

[hawaiiansteeler]

The Lombardis... And I really must be honest here... I love having them. They are so choice! If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up :D

AB just got more $$$ from Oakland, maybe he can buy one from you. that's about the only way he'll ever possess one...

[GoSlash27]

AB just got more $$$ from Oakland, maybe he can buy one from you. that's about the only way he'll ever possess one...

A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine trophy.

[teegre]

The Lombardis... And I really must be honest here... I love having them. They are so choice! If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up :D

:nod: Good


A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine trophy.

:applaudit: Masterful

[teegre]

A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine trophy.


AB: Why’d you trade me?

COLBERT: Where’s your brain?

AB: Whyd you trade me?

COLBERT: Where’s your brain?

AB: Why’d you kick me?

COLBERT: Where’s your brain?

AB; I asked you first.

COLBERT: How can we pick up a Lombardi with you still here???

[GoSlash27]

AB: Why’d you trade me?

COLBERT: Where’s your brain?
The Raiders will treat AB like shit. Because they have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all be-all of human existence. They won't respect him... 'Cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work...

[teegre]

The Raiders will treat AB like shit. Because they have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all be-all of human existence. They won't respect him... 'Cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work...

AB: If you’re not throwing it over here 15 times, you can find a new best receiver!!!

BEN: You’ve been saying that since the Denver game...