teegre
01-18-2017, 02:16 PM
Here is my latest article from The Point of Pittsburgh. Like any good joke, there are a few paragraphs of set up, but the punchline is well worth it.
Get Off of My Lawn, Antonio Brown!!!
by Tiger Rowan
One afternoon at the zoo, as my kids and I walked around from one enclosure to the next, I observed a grandfather with his three-year-old granddaughter. I could tell that he was a grandparent, because he doted on the little girl, giving her his undivided attention as though her musings were pearls of wisdom which should be chiseled into stone tablets. I know, I know, you can call me jealous all that you want, but every parent knows that the grandparent-grandchild relationship is basically a sycophantic one.
My jaded dissension aside, I marveled at the way in which the two of them interacted; never once did the grandfather become bored and/or impatient at his granddaughter’s endless stream of queries (most of which could have been reduced down to the ubiquitous “Why?”). Meanwhile, I was simultaneously trying to keep my two-year-old son from climbing into each and every enclosure (“I am going to pet the monkey”) while pleading with my five-year-old daughter take off her jellied, Frozen high-heeled shoes (“Daddy, princesses do not wear running shoes”). I do not know if the grandfather was following me through the exhibits, or if I was following him, but I do know that the juxtaposition between his family and mine was thrust in front of my face for about forty-five minutes.
Then, we came to the hippopotamuses.
Read more:
http://www.thepointofpittsburgh.com/get-off-of-my-lawn-antonio-brown/
Feel free to pass this along to anyone who you merely might enjoy reading it. If that person happens to be a Millennial, make sure to add a selfie to your text.
Get Off of My Lawn, Antonio Brown!!!
by Tiger Rowan
One afternoon at the zoo, as my kids and I walked around from one enclosure to the next, I observed a grandfather with his three-year-old granddaughter. I could tell that he was a grandparent, because he doted on the little girl, giving her his undivided attention as though her musings were pearls of wisdom which should be chiseled into stone tablets. I know, I know, you can call me jealous all that you want, but every parent knows that the grandparent-grandchild relationship is basically a sycophantic one.
My jaded dissension aside, I marveled at the way in which the two of them interacted; never once did the grandfather become bored and/or impatient at his granddaughter’s endless stream of queries (most of which could have been reduced down to the ubiquitous “Why?”). Meanwhile, I was simultaneously trying to keep my two-year-old son from climbing into each and every enclosure (“I am going to pet the monkey”) while pleading with my five-year-old daughter take off her jellied, Frozen high-heeled shoes (“Daddy, princesses do not wear running shoes”). I do not know if the grandfather was following me through the exhibits, or if I was following him, but I do know that the juxtaposition between his family and mine was thrust in front of my face for about forty-five minutes.
Then, we came to the hippopotamuses.
Read more:
http://www.thepointofpittsburgh.com/get-off-of-my-lawn-antonio-brown/
Feel free to pass this along to anyone who you merely might enjoy reading it. If that person happens to be a Millennial, make sure to add a selfie to your text.