Pristas
08-09-2012, 11:52 AM
1. Ben will have a career year, and fantasy owners that pick him up in the late rounds will love having him - often scoring 2-3 touchdowns per game. Ben runs Haley's offense to a T, and finds it to his liking. Ben is Obi-Wan Kenobi. At first we are like "why are you dying over this new playbook?" then we realize that he emerges more powerful than ever - through Luke (Haley and the new offense).
2. Wallace will sign before the start of the regular season, know the playbook, will have practiced it on his own, and be a big part of number 1 above. Wallace is Darth Vader...everyone loved him when he was Anakin early in his career, hated him when he went to the dark side, then will love him again once he finally comes around.
3. James Harrison (Mace Windu - the force is strong with this one) will miss 4-6 games for a helmet to helmet hit on a player. This will come toward the end of the season, and have affect on the outcome of our playoff position. Some of the suspended games will carry over to the 2013 season and not be applied to the 2012 playoffs. Yes, we make the playoffs. Goodell plays roll of Palpatine... killing Harrison.
4. Redman will have an injury that keeps him out for 4 games. In his stead, Batch takes over the roll as primary back and makes a great case as to why he should be a starter. Jango Fett with Boba Fett taking over - both players we come to realize are equally badass and worthy of cloning.
5. Rainey will be a fumble machine. He will have amazing speed and agility, but lack the arm strength to fend off NFL defender's strip attacks. All fans remain hopeful through the entire season that this gets better, but it doesn't. By the time we make the playoffs, Sanders is returning punts, and Batch will have supplanted Rainey in the "MeMo" role. Rainey is the Millenium Falcon - fastest ship in the fleet, but breaks down all the time. Turns out the X-Wings work great.
6. Spence will emerge as a new star in the defense. His quickness and good judgement make him a Polamalu-style player by the end of the regular season. LeBeau recognizes this and opens up some of the Polamalu rover formations for him. The fans have a new jersey to buy, and the Steelers get a mid round steal. General Calrissian. Nobody saw it coming, but he was genuinely awesome. He may even take on leadership role later in the season. He will also be filthy rich.
7. The Ravens are just as tough as last season. And with the Harbaugh brothers (Sith Apprentices) and their father (Sith Lord) working together every game, they will dominate their regular seasons. Steelers split games with the Ratbirds (Sandpeople - Can ruin an otherwise good day) during the regular season, but the dark side clouds my judgement for the playoffs.
8. Andy Dalton becomes Andy Capp. Coincidentally both look like red-headed Irishmen, and in this season, drunk. In an effort to improve on last season, early losses frustrate the team and they fall to 8 and 8. Their ineffectiveness earns them the role of Gungans - not really good, kind of slimy, they thought they were going to be in it, but have proven ineffective at most everything, and are quite laughable on the edge of being annoying.
9. The Browns shock the league. It was painful to even type that. Their old man QB Weeden proves to be the real deal. In what looked like another losing season for the Browns, turns into a surprisingly amazing season. Richardson is amazing, and makes fantasy owners who draft him in the third round look like fantasy gods. He finishes with top three numbers rushing in all fantasy formats. The Steelers and Ravens playoff fate lies closely tied to the success of this team. Either the Steelers or Ravens chance at taking the division will rest entirely on the outcome of one game against the Brownies. The Browns play the role of Han Solo, saving one side and destroying another. They are also like an ion cannon, since nobody saw that coming.
10. Mike Tomlin will lead his men in unconventional fashion, and every time he opens his mouth, it will be quotable. The force is strong with this one. Tomlin is Yoda. A five star matchup it will be, because we're in it. Every blade of grass, we will defend. For the standard is the standard. Our marching orders we have.
11. The offensive line as a whole excels this year. Ben stays upright and the above #1 is realized. The line is the Trade Federation's Blockade. Nothing gets through.
12. The Pittsburgh Steelers are the imperial walkers, or AT-AT. They are not always present for every battle, but when they are, they WIN.
13. Andy Ried (Jabba - do I have to explain?) and his Eagles (Bounty Hunters) - They show a lot of talent, make a lot of splash plays but don't ever get anywhere in the end, starting tonight. :chuckle:
Go Steelers!
14. Mendenhall is a Tan-tan. He seems to get stuffed inside a lot. Also may be out for the whole season, I doubt he makes a comeback, especially since we adapted our snowspeeders (Rainey, Batch, Dwyer) to the cold.
15. The Superbowl (Cantina) XLVI. Steelers vs. Cowboys. It's going to be a big party, everyone wants to be there, lots of entertainment and drinking, but Greedo (Jerry Jones) is going to get killed.
2. Wallace will sign before the start of the regular season, know the playbook, will have practiced it on his own, and be a big part of number 1 above. Wallace is Darth Vader...everyone loved him when he was Anakin early in his career, hated him when he went to the dark side, then will love him again once he finally comes around.
3. James Harrison (Mace Windu - the force is strong with this one) will miss 4-6 games for a helmet to helmet hit on a player. This will come toward the end of the season, and have affect on the outcome of our playoff position. Some of the suspended games will carry over to the 2013 season and not be applied to the 2012 playoffs. Yes, we make the playoffs. Goodell plays roll of Palpatine... killing Harrison.
4. Redman will have an injury that keeps him out for 4 games. In his stead, Batch takes over the roll as primary back and makes a great case as to why he should be a starter. Jango Fett with Boba Fett taking over - both players we come to realize are equally badass and worthy of cloning.
5. Rainey will be a fumble machine. He will have amazing speed and agility, but lack the arm strength to fend off NFL defender's strip attacks. All fans remain hopeful through the entire season that this gets better, but it doesn't. By the time we make the playoffs, Sanders is returning punts, and Batch will have supplanted Rainey in the "MeMo" role. Rainey is the Millenium Falcon - fastest ship in the fleet, but breaks down all the time. Turns out the X-Wings work great.
6. Spence will emerge as a new star in the defense. His quickness and good judgement make him a Polamalu-style player by the end of the regular season. LeBeau recognizes this and opens up some of the Polamalu rover formations for him. The fans have a new jersey to buy, and the Steelers get a mid round steal. General Calrissian. Nobody saw it coming, but he was genuinely awesome. He may even take on leadership role later in the season. He will also be filthy rich.
7. The Ravens are just as tough as last season. And with the Harbaugh brothers (Sith Apprentices) and their father (Sith Lord) working together every game, they will dominate their regular seasons. Steelers split games with the Ratbirds (Sandpeople - Can ruin an otherwise good day) during the regular season, but the dark side clouds my judgement for the playoffs.
8. Andy Dalton becomes Andy Capp. Coincidentally both look like red-headed Irishmen, and in this season, drunk. In an effort to improve on last season, early losses frustrate the team and they fall to 8 and 8. Their ineffectiveness earns them the role of Gungans - not really good, kind of slimy, they thought they were going to be in it, but have proven ineffective at most everything, and are quite laughable on the edge of being annoying.
9. The Browns shock the league. It was painful to even type that. Their old man QB Weeden proves to be the real deal. In what looked like another losing season for the Browns, turns into a surprisingly amazing season. Richardson is amazing, and makes fantasy owners who draft him in the third round look like fantasy gods. He finishes with top three numbers rushing in all fantasy formats. The Steelers and Ravens playoff fate lies closely tied to the success of this team. Either the Steelers or Ravens chance at taking the division will rest entirely on the outcome of one game against the Brownies. The Browns play the role of Han Solo, saving one side and destroying another. They are also like an ion cannon, since nobody saw that coming.
10. Mike Tomlin will lead his men in unconventional fashion, and every time he opens his mouth, it will be quotable. The force is strong with this one. Tomlin is Yoda. A five star matchup it will be, because we're in it. Every blade of grass, we will defend. For the standard is the standard. Our marching orders we have.
11. The offensive line as a whole excels this year. Ben stays upright and the above #1 is realized. The line is the Trade Federation's Blockade. Nothing gets through.
12. The Pittsburgh Steelers are the imperial walkers, or AT-AT. They are not always present for every battle, but when they are, they WIN.
13. Andy Ried (Jabba - do I have to explain?) and his Eagles (Bounty Hunters) - They show a lot of talent, make a lot of splash plays but don't ever get anywhere in the end, starting tonight. :chuckle:
Go Steelers!
14. Mendenhall is a Tan-tan. He seems to get stuffed inside a lot. Also may be out for the whole season, I doubt he makes a comeback, especially since we adapted our snowspeeders (Rainey, Batch, Dwyer) to the cold.
15. The Superbowl (Cantina) XLVI. Steelers vs. Cowboys. It's going to be a big party, everyone wants to be there, lots of entertainment and drinking, but Greedo (Jerry Jones) is going to get killed.