View Full Version : Who's the squealers now, bitches???

tony hipchest
07-14-2010, 06:10 PM
shadenfreude so sweet! seeing brownfans (and all ohio fans for that matter) in misery still makes me smile even nearly a week later.


City: Akron, Ohio
Name: Kevin Heffernan

Please elevate Cleveland to #1 on your Levels of Losing list. I want to be #1 in SOMETHING.

We had a LeBronfire last night ... I burned everything I own with his name on it.

My wife could sleep with my father and I wouldn't feel this betrayed.

Born here. Raised here. Played here. Betrayed here.

City: Cary, N.C. (originally from Akron)
Name: David
If you were watching LeBron's post announcement interview and saw his reaction to our fans burning his jersey, you saw the pain in his face for a second before regaining composure. People from Ohio have a strong connection to where we are from. He was no different. We love the Browns, Cavs and Indians, even when they're terrible. We love our athletes and treat them like gods. We can't explain how bad it hurts never to win. No other city feels this in EVERY sport, in such a variety of ways. The fumble, the drive, the shot, two World Series losses, losing the Finals, Ohio State losing two national titles, the Indians losing the ALCS to Boston, Cliff Lee and CC leaving us, and now LeBron leaves us. I don't know how to explain it. It's the worst feeling in the world and I have ZERO pro sports teams even with a winning chance in 2011. Just know that people in Cleveland rarely forgive or forget. Half a century of losing hardens people to the point of dumping beer on old women who are dumb enough to wear Steelers gear to Browns games, even to the point of hating our once beloved son LeBron. We can't cheer him, it would hurt to much. We burn his jersey not to hurt him, but for us. Destruction is great company to misery.

City: Anywhere USA
Name: Name Withheld
This is the day he went from being a lovable superstar trying to reach his potential to enemy number one. I want the Knicks to bring back Charles Oakley and Xavier McDaniel on 10-day contracts to injure him. I want Kobe Bryant (yes, Kobe!) to destroy him so badly every time they play that he loses confidence, Rick Ankiel style. I want him to lose in the first round and then break his leg in the offseason, only to see Wade and Bosh win without him (and have him screw up the chemistry when he comes back). I want him to join the French World Cup soccer team. I want him to go into the stands and attack a child in a wheelchair. I want it to come out that he was point-shaving. I want Cleveland fans to throw urine water balloons at him. I want Castro to annex Miami. I want Florida income taxes to spike to 73%. I want the Bulls to beat the Heat by 50 points every time they play. And I want LeBron's father to come out of the woodwork and say "You've brought shame on me and our family." This has moved me from the NBA fence to a die-hard Premier League fan. Goodbye NBA!

City: Glandorf, Ohio
Name: Jay Karhoff
This is a drunk e-mail but I've never felt this betrayed. The deepest circle of hell is reserved for those who betray and LeBron earned his spot.

City: Ravenna, Ohio
Name: Redov
You probably know that Art Modell doesn't exactly have good standing in Cleveland. Or Akron. Or Canton. Or ... well, pretty much anywhere in Northeast Ohio. I never, EVER thought that anyone would replace him at the top of Northeast Ohio's blacklist.


07-14-2010, 07:32 PM
i'm rather enjoying it myself. hell i don't even pay much attention to the NBA , but knowing that the assholes freakin out over it are for the most part probably browns, bengals, OSU fans , makes me giggle.